The First of the Month

Work has not been exceptionally fun lately. Over the past few months I've realized just how much this job has changed for me since I first started working with ASP in 2006. I used to enjoy working with the families that we serve and seeking out the clients that our organization could benefit. But in recent weeks, my staff and I have found ourselves looking for projects simply for the sake of finding things for our volunteers to do. While we do have some major home repair going on, we also have some projects that I don't think are particularly high on the needs list. But what are you to do in a county that you've been working in for over 25 years where the projects are becoming less and less? What are you to do when you've just built a brand-new million dollar building and feel obligated to continue sending volunteers there? Over the course of the last year, I've found myself losing heart. I am now heartless. It takes a great deal to spark compassion within me, more than I ever thought it would.

Today, Kim and I were at Wal-Mart and it was PACKED, which meant longer lines and less food on the shelves. It takes a lot trying feed 25-60 volunteers. Who knew people could eat so much? When we pulled in the parking lot I wondered why it was so packed on a Wednesday afternoon. We made a joke about needing to get shopping done before heading off to church. But as I waited at Customer Service to make a return, I quickly realized why it was so crowded today. It's the first of the month. And anyone in Central Appalachia can tell you what happens on the first of the month - the government money comes. People hurry to cash their checks and restock their bare pantries with food and other necessities. As we left, I couldn't help but wonder if places like Wal-Mart all over the U.S. are always this crowded during this time of the month. It's obvious in Appalachia because of the prevalence of poverty. But would it be as obvious or even noticeable in my home town? If I asked an employee at our Super Wal-Mart would they notice this? I live in a fairly welathy area, but there are poor everywhere. People depending on the government exist in every state and community. Do I notice it more just because I live in Southwest Virginia where money is always tight? Just an observation from an ordinary (or not so ordinary) grocery trip.

I pray that as I prepare to leave this organization in a month, I can find my heart to take with me. And that I can learn to once again appreciate and truly value what ASP does for communities in Central Appalachia.