Work has not been exceptionally fun lately. Over the past few months I've realized just how much this job has changed for me since I first started working with ASP in 2006. I used to enjoy working with the families that we serve and seeking out the clients that our organization could benefit. But in recent weeks, my staff and I have found ourselves looking for projects simply for the sake of finding things for our volunteers to do. While we do have some major home repair going on, we also have some projects that I don't think are particularly high on the needs list. But what are you to do in a county that you've been working in for over 25 years where the projects are becoming less and less? What are you to do when you've just built a brand-new million dollar building and feel obligated to continue sending volunteers there? Over the course of the last year, I've found myself losing heart. I am now heartless. It takes a great deal to spark compassion within me, more than I ever thought it would.
Today, Kim and I were at Wal-Mart and it was PACKED, which meant longer lines and less food on the shelves. It takes a lot trying feed 25-60 volunteers. Who knew people could eat so much? When we pulled in the parking lot I wondered why it was so packed on a Wednesday afternoon. We made a joke about needing to get shopping done before heading off to church. But as I waited at Customer Service to make a return, I quickly realized why it was so crowded today. It's the first of the month. And anyone in Central Appalachia can tell you what happens on the first of the month - the government money comes. People hurry to cash their checks and restock their bare pantries with food and other necessities. As we left, I couldn't help but wonder if places like Wal-Mart all over the U.S. are always this crowded during this time of the month. It's obvious in Appalachia because of the prevalence of poverty. But would it be as obvious or even noticeable in my home town? If I asked an employee at our Super Wal-Mart would they notice this? I live in a fairly welathy area, but there are poor everywhere. People depending on the government exist in every state and community. Do I notice it more just because I live in Southwest Virginia where money is always tight? Just an observation from an ordinary (or not so ordinary) grocery trip.
I pray that as I prepare to leave this organization in a month, I can find my heart to take with me. And that I can learn to once again appreciate and truly value what ASP does for communities in Central Appalachia.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Jonesville, VA - home sweet home
Finals are here and the end is in sight. Graduation will be here before I know it, then it's off to ASP for Center Director training. I'll be heading to Jonesville, VA, one of our year-round centers, for 2 weeks of training. AND I will be spending my entire summer there. It will be slightly more "luxurious" than my past accomodations, but it will also have it's challenges. Both of which I'm excited about. I went from a center where I couldn't drink the water, to one where we had 4 showers total in a green house, to a center with a staff apartment (which includes a small kitchen, 4 bedrooms, and 2 bathrooms!).
In order to avoid studying, I've been doing some research on the area. Jonesville is located in Lee County and has a population of 995 people. Other towns in the county include Dryden, Ewing, Keokee, Pennington Gap, Rose Hill, and St. Charles (along with an unincorporated town called Ben Hur, my personal favorite). "Lee County's poverty rate is 150% higher than the poverty rate in Virginia and the per capita income for Lee Countians is only 57% of the per capita income of Virginians." The county population in 2005 was 23,686 (1% urban, 99% rural). The county is 98.1% white, non-hispanic. "Lee County ranks highest on Elderly poverty rate of any county in Virginia. It ranks 4th highest on poverty rate. It has the lowest Average Adjusted Gross Income and the 3rd lowest Average family income. It ranks 7th highest on Child poverty rate."
It's going to be an interesting and very different summer, but one I'm excited about. I, of course, am nervous about being a Center Director, but I know that my past 2 summers have prepared me for this experience. And fortunately, I don't have to do it alone. I will have a staff of 4 other people and a supervisor to work with for the summer. And one of my good friends is the Center Director in the neighboring county, which is wonderful! It feels like there's a lot to do between now and May 16th, but I know it will all get done and come together. And when I leave for training, I'll be heading to my "final destination" for the summer. When I have my address and other information, I'll pass it along!
I also was offered a position with ASP's year-round program last week. I accepted it Friday, so I'll get a few weeks off in August and then head back to ASP in September. That also will be a very different experience, but one I'm excited about. So for the next 12 months (at least), I'll be working in the mountains doing something that I truly love to do!
In order to avoid studying, I've been doing some research on the area. Jonesville is located in Lee County and has a population of 995 people. Other towns in the county include Dryden, Ewing, Keokee, Pennington Gap, Rose Hill, and St. Charles (along with an unincorporated town called Ben Hur, my personal favorite). "Lee County's poverty rate is 150% higher than the poverty rate in Virginia and the per capita income for Lee Countians is only 57% of the per capita income of Virginians." The county population in 2005 was 23,686 (1% urban, 99% rural). The county is 98.1% white, non-hispanic. "Lee County ranks highest on Elderly poverty rate of any county in Virginia. It ranks 4th highest on poverty rate. It has the lowest Average Adjusted Gross Income and the 3rd lowest Average family income. It ranks 7th highest on Child poverty rate."
It's going to be an interesting and very different summer, but one I'm excited about. I, of course, am nervous about being a Center Director, but I know that my past 2 summers have prepared me for this experience. And fortunately, I don't have to do it alone. I will have a staff of 4 other people and a supervisor to work with for the summer. And one of my good friends is the Center Director in the neighboring county, which is wonderful! It feels like there's a lot to do between now and May 16th, but I know it will all get done and come together. And when I leave for training, I'll be heading to my "final destination" for the summer. When I have my address and other information, I'll pass it along!
I also was offered a position with ASP's year-round program last week. I accepted it Friday, so I'll get a few weeks off in August and then head back to ASP in September. That also will be a very different experience, but one I'm excited about. So for the next 12 months (at least), I'll be working in the mountains doing something that I truly love to do!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
enjoying the end
First of all, I don't think I'm a vegetarian any more. If you can't eat meat as a vegetarian, then I guess my turkey sandwich at dinner may have officially ended my vegetarian phase (for now, anyway). Turkey just sounded too good to say no to tonight!
On another note, I have 5 papers, 4 exams, and 1 project due between now and the official end of my undergraduate career. We can only hope it's the official end anyway. I'm ready to be done, but also trying to enjoy the last few weeks here! Thursday night a group of us drove to Nashville to see Dave Barnes play at the Cannery Ballroom. It was wonderful. Dave is wonderful. Too bad he's married... We drove back in horrendous rain, forcing us to pull over once and drive under 40 m.p.h. for a good while. That was special. Fortunately, Sherm is a good driver, so we didn't die. It's things like that, though, that make me realize I will miss this a little bit. "A little bit" being the key phrase in that statement. It's time to move on, but Lambuth has been an overall decent place to spend the last 2 years. I've come across some good friends in some good people, anyway. And I'm going to have a degree. Who would have thunk?
Now it's time to really start looking at the future. The 2008 ASP Summer Staff has officially been hired. Manuals have been mailed and a staff list sent out. I'm just anxiously awaiting the phone call from my Field Coordinator (supervisor) with my county information. The 25 Center Directors are the only ones who find out their county ahead of time; every one else finds out mid-way through training when we find out who's on our staff. So this is a new experience for me, knowing exactly where I'll be spending my summer before I even leave. Also, I mailed my ASP Year-Round application last week, so that's still a definite possibility for the fall. If I'm offered a position, I will likely take it. It would give me the opportunity to be bored away from school for a year and look at seminaries... Yes, seminary.
Finally, I'm going to be an aunt to a baby boy! Kenneth and Laura (my brother and his wife) found out Thursday that they're having a boy. They're excited and ready to start buying gender-specific baby stuff. That poor baby is going to be spoiled rotten, especially by his favorite aunt!
On another note, I have 5 papers, 4 exams, and 1 project due between now and the official end of my undergraduate career. We can only hope it's the official end anyway. I'm ready to be done, but also trying to enjoy the last few weeks here! Thursday night a group of us drove to Nashville to see Dave Barnes play at the Cannery Ballroom. It was wonderful. Dave is wonderful. Too bad he's married... We drove back in horrendous rain, forcing us to pull over once and drive under 40 m.p.h. for a good while. That was special. Fortunately, Sherm is a good driver, so we didn't die. It's things like that, though, that make me realize I will miss this a little bit. "A little bit" being the key phrase in that statement. It's time to move on, but Lambuth has been an overall decent place to spend the last 2 years. I've come across some good friends in some good people, anyway. And I'm going to have a degree. Who would have thunk?
Now it's time to really start looking at the future. The 2008 ASP Summer Staff has officially been hired. Manuals have been mailed and a staff list sent out. I'm just anxiously awaiting the phone call from my Field Coordinator (supervisor) with my county information. The 25 Center Directors are the only ones who find out their county ahead of time; every one else finds out mid-way through training when we find out who's on our staff. So this is a new experience for me, knowing exactly where I'll be spending my summer before I even leave. Also, I mailed my ASP Year-Round application last week, so that's still a definite possibility for the fall. If I'm offered a position, I will likely take it. It would give me the opportunity to be bored away from school for a year and look at seminaries... Yes, seminary.
Finally, I'm going to be an aunt to a baby boy! Kenneth and Laura (my brother and his wife) found out Thursday that they're having a boy. They're excited and ready to start buying gender-specific baby stuff. That poor baby is going to be spoiled rotten, especially by his favorite aunt!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Gene Looney Davenport is ruining my life...one comp question at a time!
Part of a song I'm listening to right now that I really like:
"Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water"
I'm back to the point of hating theology, the Bible, Hinduism/Buddhism, the Enlightenment, salvation, Romans, etc., etc., etc. But alas, Saturday morning will come and go before I know it. I will do just fine. All the stress will have been partly worth it, but not necessary. I will pass my exit exam. Gene will turn in my audit (maybe?). I will wear the cap and gown hanging in my closet. I will graduate on May 11th at 9:30 a.m. It will all happen. And a lot will happen between now and then (like passing American Lit...). But it will all get done and the page will turn. But what's next?
Part of a song I'm listening to right now that I really like:
"Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water"
I'm back to the point of hating theology, the Bible, Hinduism/Buddhism, the Enlightenment, salvation, Romans, etc., etc., etc. But alas, Saturday morning will come and go before I know it. I will do just fine. All the stress will have been partly worth it, but not necessary. I will pass my exit exam. Gene will turn in my audit (maybe?). I will wear the cap and gown hanging in my closet. I will graduate on May 11th at 9:30 a.m. It will all happen. And a lot will happen between now and then (like passing American Lit...). But it will all get done and the page will turn. But what's next?
Thursday, March 20, 2008
A Holy Moment
Mom, Dad, and I went to the Maundy Thursday service at church tonight. Holy Week has taken on a new meaning for me. Or maybe I've just come to understand the significance and importance of this time in the Church more and more. I only wish others did, too. Especially Good Friday. Think about it, without Good Friday there is no Easter. Without the cross there is no resurrection. Why is so much emphasis placed on Christmas and Advent, yet it seems that much less is placed on Lent and Easter? I know, without Christmas there could be no Easter. But honestly, why as a community of believers is far less emphasis placed on the time that leads to the death and resurrection of Christ? Fortunately, our church seems to do a good job of this. Our pastors do place that emphasis on Lent and Holy Week, and some people respond. But let's just say that our new santuary (which was built to accomodate our growing congregation that will soon max out this new addition) was pretty bare tonight. We looked like a small group of people... But none of that is what sparked this particular blog.
After the sermon, communion was served and some people participated in foot washing. I personally don't do footwashing. I recognize its significance and know that some day I will get a straw and do it, but I'll have to get an intensive pedicure first. And let's just say that my feet haven't seen flip flops in a while.
Anyway, Mom and I went to take communion together, which we were doing by intinction (when you dip the bread in the juice). Generally when we do this we form a line and receive the elements and then can kneel for prayer at the alter. But since there were so few people and we have a much larger alter, it was served while we were kneeling. Generally when we are kneeling already, we receive the bread and then a small cup of juice. So when Mom received her bread, she just ate it like we normally would. I just looked at her with that "Mom, what are you doing?" look, and she realized her mistake. The pastor serving the bread was long gone at this point, and the pastor with the cup was right to us. So I gave Mom half of my bread so that she could take from the cup. Unfortuately, I could not contain my laughter. I tried and I tried, but I couldn't make it stop. Needless to say, I didn't quite have that moment kneeling at the rail after receiving the sacrament that I normally do (or normally hope for). But this was okay. After all, we come to the table to receive the sacrament as a community, right? We share in the breaking of the bread. Communion is a "community event," is it not? So what better way to celebrate Holy Communion than by sharing my bread with my own mother? It was kind of special. And funny all at the same time.
As the pastor of our church always says, Lent is a wilderness. And Lent has certainly been a wilderness. It's time that we journey to the cross, out of the wilderness, and to the resurrection.
After the sermon, communion was served and some people participated in foot washing. I personally don't do footwashing. I recognize its significance and know that some day I will get a straw and do it, but I'll have to get an intensive pedicure first. And let's just say that my feet haven't seen flip flops in a while.
Anyway, Mom and I went to take communion together, which we were doing by intinction (when you dip the bread in the juice). Generally when we do this we form a line and receive the elements and then can kneel for prayer at the alter. But since there were so few people and we have a much larger alter, it was served while we were kneeling. Generally when we are kneeling already, we receive the bread and then a small cup of juice. So when Mom received her bread, she just ate it like we normally would. I just looked at her with that "Mom, what are you doing?" look, and she realized her mistake. The pastor serving the bread was long gone at this point, and the pastor with the cup was right to us. So I gave Mom half of my bread so that she could take from the cup. Unfortuately, I could not contain my laughter. I tried and I tried, but I couldn't make it stop. Needless to say, I didn't quite have that moment kneeling at the rail after receiving the sacrament that I normally do (or normally hope for). But this was okay. After all, we come to the table to receive the sacrament as a community, right? We share in the breaking of the bread. Communion is a "community event," is it not? So what better way to celebrate Holy Communion than by sharing my bread with my own mother? It was kind of special. And funny all at the same time.
As the pastor of our church always says, Lent is a wilderness. And Lent has certainly been a wilderness. It's time that we journey to the cross, out of the wilderness, and to the resurrection.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
1 Corinthians 1:18-31 - my first sermon...
I just finished writing my first sermon. Ok, it's not exactly done. It needs some work, but I have almost 10 pages and 17 minutes of words. I guess I can't really say they are words either, it's much more than that. Steven asked me over Christmas break if I would preach the RLC chapel, and I of course agreed. But it didn't take me long to realize that it just wasn't going to happen. I told him I'd still help plan it, but there was no way I was preaching it. Our service got moved back by several weeks, because someone else wanted our spot - oh darn! When I went to meet with him last Thursday (just before Spring Break) I decided I would preach it. I'm actually not sure what happened or why I decided to do it. I just felt that push. And despite my anxiety and nervousness, I was excited by it. I've been thinking about it ever since. What am I going to say? What am I going to preach on? What do I really have to offer?
After thinking about it for days and working on it for hours, it's done. (Right, not done, but you know what I mean.) I still don't know if I have anything to offer. I don't know if the theology is right. I don't know if what I'm saying is what Paul meant. My main focus is on 1 Corinthians 1:18-31. It being Holy Week, that was part of the Lectionary for Tuesday. So a week from today, I will be preaching my first sermon. So here I was just a few weeks ago not even going to seminary and now I'm preaching. Really?!?! But I guess it is what it is.
I've read over what I've written several times. I've tweaked it and timed it and tweaked it some more. I don't know if jt all fits together. Maybe I'm offering too much of myself in it. Maybe I'm not offering enough for other people. Maybe what I'm saying is far from right. Maybe this will totally suck... Do people really care about me or what I have to say? Likely not. The pastor at my home church always prays this prayer before he preaches: Holy God, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of each one of us gathered here today be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord, our Rock and our Redeemer. This has been my prayer through this process. And I know I will continue to pray this prayer.
"For God's foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God's weakness is stronger than human strength."
After thinking about it for days and working on it for hours, it's done. (Right, not done, but you know what I mean.) I still don't know if I have anything to offer. I don't know if the theology is right. I don't know if what I'm saying is what Paul meant. My main focus is on 1 Corinthians 1:18-31. It being Holy Week, that was part of the Lectionary for Tuesday. So a week from today, I will be preaching my first sermon. So here I was just a few weeks ago not even going to seminary and now I'm preaching. Really?!?! But I guess it is what it is.
I've read over what I've written several times. I've tweaked it and timed it and tweaked it some more. I don't know if jt all fits together. Maybe I'm offering too much of myself in it. Maybe I'm not offering enough for other people. Maybe what I'm saying is far from right. Maybe this will totally suck... Do people really care about me or what I have to say? Likely not. The pastor at my home church always prays this prayer before he preaches: Holy God, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of each one of us gathered here today be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord, our Rock and our Redeemer. This has been my prayer through this process. And I know I will continue to pray this prayer.
"For God's foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God's weakness is stronger than human strength."
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Not having a plan for post-graduation has been driving me crazy. Literally. It's alway in the back of my mind, if not the front. I know that I have a lot of options and opportunities out there, I just don't know exactly what they are. I recently had a revelation - that seminary is not exactly an option, it's a must. I've known that for almost 3 years now, but I've been treating it just as an option. Even if I choose not to seek ordination (which I likely will), I still need to go to seminary. There's no rhyme or reason for it. That just seems to be the way it is. And despite my attempts to run from it, I get pulled back in every time. So I've resigned myself to the fact that this is part of my future. But at the same time, Social Work doesn't exactly seem like an option, either. It's more of an option than a must, but it feels like it should be part of the plan. That being said, I've been looking at my options - both Methodist and not. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), the only viable options I've found are with Methodist programs, which is fine. For a long time, I've hated Duke. Ok, not hated it, but not been thrilled by the option. However, they do have one of the better MDiv/MSW programs. Beyond that, Boston is my other option. But I'm comfortable with Duke/UNC - I'm comfortable with the area, the people I know there, the resources I would have, etc, etc, etc...
Ok, so the big plan. I've always planned to take a year off. I've had mixed emotions/thoughts about some of my options, especially ASP year-round. But knowing what I will likely be doing come August 2009, solidified it for me a little. People have mixed experiences with the year-roudn program. There's a lot of sitting around, a lot of Wal-Mart trips, a lot of nothing. But I'm okay with that. It would give me time to fill out grad school apps, take the GRE, visit my niece/nephew, visit friends, etc.
I guess that means the plan is ASP year-round (assuming I'm hired) and then Seminary/Social Work school (likely Duke). Although NONE of this is even close to written in stone, it's nice to have a better idea. It gives me some peace to know that I know what I need to do. I have a better idea of my calling and at least the educational components involved. Thanks, God...
Ok, so the big plan. I've always planned to take a year off. I've had mixed emotions/thoughts about some of my options, especially ASP year-round. But knowing what I will likely be doing come August 2009, solidified it for me a little. People have mixed experiences with the year-roudn program. There's a lot of sitting around, a lot of Wal-Mart trips, a lot of nothing. But I'm okay with that. It would give me time to fill out grad school apps, take the GRE, visit my niece/nephew, visit friends, etc.
I guess that means the plan is ASP year-round (assuming I'm hired) and then Seminary/Social Work school (likely Duke). Although NONE of this is even close to written in stone, it's nice to have a better idea. It gives me some peace to know that I know what I need to do. I have a better idea of my calling and at least the educational components involved. Thanks, God...
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